2025 October
10
Had a little breakdown due to some consecutive fails & decided to write about it here.
I have since removed it. There is a hard rule I want to set & obide by and that is no complaining. I did write about my dog Rachel in there and how ever since Rachel's death, the pressure of time passing is always with me.
I will write about it in some more detail when things are more stable in my life.
But for now, I have to ruthlessly focus and cut all noise. Down to the second.
I updated my habits. They are a good set and contain a lot in them. It will take a while to get a handle on them. Especially the ones relating to exercise & no sugar will be tough. But there is also taking daily handle on my skin, drinking smoothies etc.
It's a lot of things I really need tuned. But more importantly, the failures I did have, don't bother me any more. There is a beatiful thing where I know that the future I am going towards is possible. It's annoying that no one supports it financially but that time will come.
The only rule is to never complain and simply learn from the failures so as not to repeat them again.
Another thing I learned these past months is that vibe coding or vibe engineering is fun but it can't handle more complex products. You have to know the code and the abstractions.
Fairly soon this will change and I see it changing rapidly especially with codex but that future is not yet here so have to be a lot more wise in the decisions made and code written.
But less so the code, what matters most is literally solving the most impactful problems right now.
I got distracted building a game platform as there was some interest and investment shown towards it in August but it turned out to be too difficult to build.
From now on, no mistakes like this. I say no a lot more often. And I focus on solving real problems with real fucking impact.
And I automate my workflow to bits. Everything has to be tracked. Every distraction has to be blocked at software level. Everything has to be tuned and automated as much as possible.
I want by the end of 2025 to reach a state where there are always tokens being generated to solve the problems I have or I am solving towards, I just need to review the work and do certain fine tuned changes.
All software and everything I build from now on is going to move towards this. I know there are teams, most likely in SF that already operate at this level but that's not me yet and I need to reach that state soon.
I am not in SF and I can't go to SF as I don't have the funds yet. I can't even afford my own coffee or rent yet. But I will get there asap.
The future being here but not being evenly distributed is too true and it's a shame. But nothing to be sad over. If there is an internet connection, a keyboard (ideally mac's), you can literlly build anything and do it fast.
Anyway, it's nice to remove all that massive complaining I wrote in this journal and get to work. No one owes me anything and the success only comes from actually building, showing real value & actually putting a fucking price tag on it.
I did too many things open source in my life. I am 30 now with like 0$ on my account but a bunch of repos with GitHub stars. It's a joke.
I know open source is the most optimal way to do software and I will do open source but I am super pragmatic now with how things will be done.
1focus.ai, solbond.co will be super succesful and I know it. I have a certain team that are insane engineers that I met. Also designer that it's just inevitable at this point.
But you still have to write the code, iron out all the quirks. Fix all the bugs and make sure no bugs ever linger in production. And it has to be fast.
I want to build Telegram/OpenAI level software for literally all aspects of life. No compromise.
I also should write more about my workflow soon because it gotten soo good that people just don't understand what is actually possible with Karabiner, macOS and a little bit of creativity and prompting.
Actually insane is what's possible.
13
Completely done with that little side quest of doing game platform & fully doing 1focus.ai now.
It's exciting but so tiring. Working with codex is super nice though. I invest heavily into optimizing my workflow so I can move faster though given what this new medium unlocks.
1focus itself will massively accelerate this. Should have paid version of 1focus out asap so we can hire a team & move much much faster.
Also blade is genuinely cool. It & Jazz is what I plan to build literally all my software with. As far as state goes. Blade does rendering too though.
I also am moving to Limassol, Cyprus from November.
I can't wait to move much much faster. All of what happened in the past, is literally gone. I learned a lot. Every second counts now. Everything I do has maximum value.
Everything I do will have a price tag attached to it from now on and be stable. No more charity stuff. Just ruthless working towards one goal and that's to build delightful software that makes a difference. Sustainably.
14
I'll still call is such a good song.
16
Doing some big changes to how I do things. Now all projects I am building are on Blade where Jazz is only used for bits where collab state is needed.
Jazz is great durable object implementation and blade is just amazing for actually building fast sites.
Also yea, being 30 is starting to hit me more and more.
I am moving to Cyprus, Limassol from November and will try to optimize my routine to be as healthy and efficient as possible there.
I am a lot more pragmatic now. And focused. And I am going to start actually posting finally as I am free from external obligations. I can just focus on projects I personally care about building.
I also think I share too much boring stuff here in journal. Will stop. And share the exciting bits. Which are coming.
Nils is too good. I have this post titled Computer that feels like home that I want to write now.
But have other things to do for now. My computer space is slowly becoming a very cozy corner of the world. Everything neatly optimized/automated away. And things not yet automated are being automated as I write this.
I can open python cursor workspace & throw a prompt into codex with just caps+spacebar. caps+e is go workspace etc. It's great.
17
No complaining. No rushing. And no jealousy.
Great morning, actually did push ups til failure and now onto solbond & gen.new
I am very very excited to build this and do it in more public way. I recently changed all my social media handles to something that is essentially the same across everywhere.
I haven't posted much because I didn't know what to post, been deep down in obligations and work to never even get chance to kind of have fun.
Want to change this a bit going forward. Like I will probably share a lot more going forward in this public journal rather than private one as most often what I share there is things like 'Move faster' or the like.
So might as well share that here. Get that little bit of madhouse out there, not that many are reading this journal anyway.
Buy yes. I am also excited to move to a more stable place with work conditions in Cyprus genuinely.
Oh and another thing that makes sharing things here so so fun is that I can open this cursor workspace with caps+k & it just opens it. And I start writing into it.
This workspace essentially opens all the pages from nikiv.dev. but also wiki.nikiv.dev that I am rebuilding from scratch and i.nikiv.dev which is my internal site with its own pages.
As I write this, I will actually going to do a thing I started doing earlier but didin't finish and mainly hotkey in cursor that when pressed will auto commit & push a diff with AI annotated commit.
Need to be faster. A lot faster.
Pushing only 3 projects now, literally just 3 but they all compliment each other:
1F is caps + :. Gen is caps + n. SolBond is caps + o.
Fast switches. Everything else I do is to literally push those projects forward as fast I can.
Oh and learn-anything.xyz rebuild but Aslam is doing things there. Absolutely legendary dev.
18
Want to wipe everything and start afresh with this public journal. Lots of history but lots of baggage too that I don't want to get attached to.
New day though. Let's go.
Updated my site a bit. It's nice to cut some useless stuff. There is still some useless complaining in this journal but going to keep it, fuck it.
Would be interesting to read in some future where things are more stable and appreciate the calmness of life without all the worries and stress. If that can ever be reached.
Right, Right, Right is genuinely a top tier song. Together with Spells. Nils is genuinely insane.
Absolutely love software. I legit have caps+e that opens my go cursor workspace and I can write prompt to and it will 1 shot it into my cli, I can then exec.
Just insane. Okay, back to gen.new ..
19
First day where I can do n+space and instead of opening my private journal in Reflect I open this.
I wonder how hard it would be to make a linter that would auto fix grammatic mistakes on md file save especially casing as I don't want to press shift or hold : in my case.
Walked today. I don't have money for food so it was nice to just sit there for a bit and think before heading home for work. There is a slight sobering feeling you get when you are hungry. Keeps you alert.
I let go from feeling sad about feeling that I am 30 years old and can't afford food since this month as I just realized that failures are simply inevitable. Like legit, you can fail 1000 consecutive times with 0 wins and that is literally ok.
It's just life. Only thing is that you have to learn from each of the failures and I think I learned some lessons.
In other news, I have a script now that given a github repo, will create a private fork of it in ~/forks-i/.. where each push will go to my own fork but I can still upstream changes from the original repo.
I plan to abuse this heavily to modify and work with various repos. Any change that is actually useful, I'll of course upstream it to the original repo.
One other thing I've learned from the struggles with finances is compassion. Real compassion. I genuinely appreciate the level of effort it takes to actually just get by on this planet.
I am someone who is not that great with computers to be able to sustain a life so it's always fascinating to see people online that manage to do it. I still like tinkering and things though. Just for the fun of it.
Okay I am genuinely ready to nuke this entire journal and start anew. I might actually do that. From maybe 2026. This year was too tough and uninteresting to read about from outside. Not even sure why I shared all those things.
I should genuinely lock in fully, non stop write code every second until something good comes out on the other end. And that is it. Everything else is noise and distraction. Complaining, that's for sure.
Just coding and doing my habits. ✨
I mean, look at this. Just insane how unfair being born outside of US is. Working & doing things on hard mode.
Like these are insane numbers. I would be happy with a 50$ investment for either gen.new or 1focus or solbond. 500$ for 5% of all those companies would get me going for a bit.
Anyway, there is not much to invest in yet. Have to put in the work to get stuff working first.
Okay yea it's decided, I will index these look backs into archive alongside all the look backs from the past too. They are too depressive and genuinely useless. I mean who wants to read about this stuff.
The offer of 500$ for 5% of all companies still stands though if anyone reading this is interested in giving at least some money for foods and drinks to get this story going bit more.
But yes I give myself till January of 2026 to doom a bit more as I work through some things out alone. in 2026 I am no longer going to be messing about. 0 room for non signal piece of writing.
Everything I write or create has to create value. And this value must be captured. Because right now I capture literally 0$ worth of value. Ok actually that's not true, its 7$ worth as per my kind GitHub sponsors.
7$ monthly for approximately last 12 months, which totals to 84$ for year's earnings. It's not too bad as that can always be 0$ but it can be better.
Okay back to work. Will try to get earnings to at least 30$ monthly by end of the year. I just need a product I can sell for 30$ or find 30 customers for some product worth 1$, excluding stripe fees too ofc.
Maybe doable. Will see.
Little note: archived all my journals after 19th only to archive it again a month later.
20
New page. Every journal before this moment is in the archives now.
From now on, pure signal. And not a single second wasted.
Also, my personal site is closed code now as I plan to do more things with it. The wiki is open source though & will be extended a lot going forward.
I also archived the code of the site. It was built with Fumadocs which is great.
New personal site will be a copy of Fumadocs + my own custom stuff, all on Blade.
22
Realized that I did burn out quite hard this year. So taking it slow.
I have this thing I started doing and really love. That is using 3 all day events (Plan / Habits / Health) that takes top bullet point from each of my personal pages.
It's essentially a nice reminder on what I should focus on.
But yes, it's quite nice to be able to have this safe space I can write to with that one single rule (no complaining, ever). And I mean that, no matter how hard life will get.
I actually updated my values to include this.
Each value there actually means something to me and I try follow it.
As for work, I am trying to get gen.new out. It's not trivial to get question / answer streams working but will get there. It will also have a nice canvas for image editing and things.
Quite excited about it.
I am also super excited to move to Limassol, Cyprus in about a week. One of the things I learned and perhaps too late is that I have to set my own deadlines and be gentle with them in a sense that it is not the end of the world if they are not met.
I want to move fast. And I want the team who will at some point work with me to move fast but I want them all to be happy and healthy first and well paid.
There is long road ahead for that to happen but I am making the steps.
I also absolutely love this journal, genuinely. It's such a nice feeling to be able to write something into this notepad. Notepad I fully control. Right now to push I have to open terminal and do g. to commit all with . commit or : if I want AI commit.
But I will soon have bind that will instantly commit this very page I am writing. Just from hotkey. It will be wonerful.
I am excited for the future genuinely.
I have this vision that I can move slow, steady, thoughtful and calm. Happiness above all. No stress. Just small steps towards the goal. Automate as much as possible.
Like AGI is genuinely coming and I am happy that I am doing my part in automating the edges already. It all adds up.
I also genuinely hope to visit SF as soon as possible because it is clear that's where the real action is happening as far as tech/AI goes but for now Cyprus. Coding calmly. Moving slowly.
I also want to start streaming too at some point. And I will in Cyprus.
23
Enjoying my slow life.
Less yapping, more building.
Been going through some things that prevented me from actually moving slowly towards my goals but I think its much clearer now and I can finally just pursue the goals/tasks I have at my own pace. With no distractions & my own deadlines.
You genuinely need only 2 songs in life. Spells to move faster & Them to move slower.
I absolutely love that each fuck up from now on gets encoded either in habits or values.
I really need to build that program to block things that waste my time. Some kind of thing that takes screenshot snapshots often, then notifies me when something is off the actual path I should be on (mainly doing my 'top task').
24
First day I will try to force fully to just work on single task at a time until it completes. I've gotten better at it through the years, esp this year with my new workflow. But I still sometimes jump to fix edges of my workflow.
And it's fine thing to do as one of my habits is to indeed automate everything on my way to completing tasks but I need to go about it in a more smart way.
Ideally by firing of async agent jobs to do thing. I already am doing it but there is still some indirection in there as I have to switch cursor workspaces, check up on stuff etc.
I wish it was more autonomous and I was only needed to review potentially questionable things. Will try get to that setup but for now gen.new
Looking at triggers & how to use them to make AI req/resp work. Context blocks in gen will be huge. Actually will make gen into a top tool in the space.
Just had genius idea to put my site under a key. e+space.
I will also move wiki into the site. It will be kept open source just when build of nikiv.dev happens, it will pull in changes from the wiki repo and inline it.
It will all be in one place then. No separate sites like wiki.nikiv.dev, it will just be under nikiv.dev/wiki. wiki.nikiv.dev can do redirect then.
Did insane thing where I have like 100's of sites now in Arc browser and it's just wonderful. In one keybind I can instantly open the site I need and due to Arc's beautiful design of just focusing on the page (no toolbars etc.), it's just amazing.
25
Haven't taken Psilocin in a great while. Actually getting shivers thinking about the last trip I had on it. Crazy little drug.
26
Always reach out to people. Habit that had most payoff in life. Just got potentially life changing news, hope it works out.
In meanwhile, I am working hard on the projects. Also remembered this classic.
29
I am 30 and still haven't broken through on DMT..
I def think this is simulation from the non DMT experiences I had but DMT sounds wild to me.
Was forced to go to Blockchain Life event due to some stakeholders of last project I worked on and my god, most projects in crypto space are boring af.
It seems only Solana is really innovating in the crypto space which does make sense given how good the underlying tech is.
I genuinely can't wait to just get home in Cyprus and just code. Skryptonite is legit.
31
So tired. But my workflow is better, so that's something. Want to move fast without burning out.
I really need to get to SF.
I also plan to stream soon. My workflow got so insane, it's actually just unreal. I have this plan where I always stream my mac screen to server 24/7. I press button and I go live.
And when I am live, it will auto hide things like personal dms and things. I also want a thing where if I don't work on the thing I should be working on, I get notifs. So much to build..
One big lesson I learned this year is to say no to things. And choose tech wisely. And be in top place (which is SF). For now in Europe but not for long. 10 years of wasted time doing BS jobs.
No more. Every second is now worth something.
I also really want to finish all my big internet projects and go deep into biotech.
Only 1,000 commits this month. I need 10,000 commits every month. Closer to 100,000 commits once I get the agent infra working well.
It's nice to have a goal and knowing where every second of my time should be spent at. Brings calmness to anotherwise chaotic life. Things are in motion across many dimensions.
There is also a thing, I haven't shared here as its related to reversal of a problem using cutting edge biotech with regenerative medicine but I am genuinely excited that there is a team working on it.
A team that has been working on it for 10+ years now and it will hit human clinical trials next year already (alledgedly). I am very excited to both donate to the team and in time receive the surgery when it does come out.
On this topic, I do genuinely want to get very deep into biotech & biology in general. To me it really seems like the real thing that matters, yes you can build fancy interfaces to write better code & have nicer digital experiencies.
But I want to get to the future of full body regeneration. Full reversal of any damage done. And get it soon because time is not kind. Anyway, back to work.