2025 October
10
Had a little breakdown due to some consecutive fails & decided to write about it here.
I have since removed it. There is a hard rule I want to set & obide by and that is no complaining. I did write about my dog Rachel in there and how ever since Rachel's death, the pressure of time passing is always with me.
I will write about it in some more detail when things are more stable in my life.
But for now, I have to ruthlessly focus and cut all noise. Down to the second.
I updated my habits. They are a good set and contain a lot in them. It will take a while to get a handle on them. Especially the ones relating to exercise & no sugar will be tough. But there is also taking daily handle on my skin, drinking smoothies etc.
It's a lot of things I really need tuned. But more importantly, the failures I did have, don't bother me any more. There is a beatiful thing where I know that the future I am going towards is possible. It's annoying that no one supports it financially but that time will come.
The only rule is to never complain and simply learn from the failures so as not to repeat them again.
Another thing I learned these past months is that vibe coding or vibe engineering is fun but it can't handle more complex products. You have to know the code and the abstractions.
Fairly soon this will change and I see it changing rapidly especially with codex but that future is not yet here so have to be a lot more wise in the decisions made and code written.
But less so the code, what matters most is literally solving the most impactful problems right now.
I got distracted building a game platform as there was some interest and investment shown towards it in August but it turned out to be too difficult to build.
From now on, no mistakes like this. I say no a lot more often. And I focus on solving real problems with real fucking impact.
And I automate my workflow to bits. Everything has to be tracked. Every distraction has to be blocked at software level. Everything has to be tuned and automated as much as possible.
I want by the end of 2025 to reach a state where there are always tokens being generated to solve the problems I have or I am solving towards, I just need to review the work and do certain fine tuned changes.
All software and everything I build from now on is going to move towards this. I know there are teams, most likely in SF that already operate at this level but that's not me yet and I need to reach that state soon.
I am not in SF and I can't go to SF as I don't have the funds yet. I can't even afford my own coffee or rent yet. But I will get there asap.
The future being here but not being evenly distributed is too true and it's a shame. But nothing to be sad over. If there is an internet connection, a keyboard (ideally mac's), you can literlly build anything and do it fast.
Anyway, it's nice to remove all that massive complaining I wrote in this journal and get to work. No one owes me anything and the success only comes from actually building, showing real value & actually putting a fucking price tag on it.
I did too many things open source in my life. I am 30 now with like 0$ on my account but a bunch of repos with GitHub stars. It's a joke.
I know open source is the most optimal way to do software and I will do open source but I am super pragmatic now with how things will be done.
1focus.ai, solbond.co will be super succesful and I know it. I have a certain team that are insane engineers that I met. Also designer that it's just inevitable at this point.
But you still have to write the code, iron out all the quirks. Fix all the bugs and make sure no bugs ever linger in production. And it has to be fast.
I want to build Telegram/OpenAI level software for literally all aspects of life. No compromise.
I also should write more about my workflow soon because it gotten soo good that people just don't understand what is actually possible with Karabiner, macOS and a little bit of creativity and prompting.
Actually insane is what's possible.
13
Completely done with that little side quest of doing game platform & fully doing 1focus.ai now.
It's exciting but so tiring. Working with codex is super nice though. I invest heavily into optimizing my workflow so I can move faster though given what this new medium unlocks.
1focus itself will massively accelerate this. Should have paid version of 1focus out asap so we can hire a team & move much much faster.
Also blade is genuinely cool. It & Jazz is what I plan to build literally all my software with. As far as state goes. Blade does rendering too though.
I also am moving to Limassol, Cyprus from November.
I can't wait to move much much faster. All of what happened in the past, is literally gone. I learned a lot. Every second counts now. Everything I do has maximum value.
Everything I do will have a price tag attached to it from now on and be stable. No more charity stuff. Just ruthless working towards one goal and that's to build delightful software that makes a difference. Sustainably.
14
I'll still call is such a good song.
16
Doing some big changes to how I do things. Now all projects I am building are on Blade where Jazz is only used for bits where collab state is needed.
Jazz is great durable object implementation and blade is just amazing for actually building fast sites.
Also yea, being 30 is starting to hit me more and more.
I am moving to Cyprus, Limassol from November and will try to optimize my routine to be as healthy and efficient as possible there.
I am a lot more pragmatic now. And focused. And I am going to start actually posting finally as I am free from external obligations. I can just focus on projects I personally care about building.
I also think I share too much boring stuff here in journal. Will stop. And share the exciting bits. Which are coming.
Nils is too good. I have this post titled Computer that feels like home that I want to write now.
But have other things to do for now. My computer space is slowly becoming a very cozy corner of the world. Everything neatly optimized/automated away. And things not yet automated are being automated as I write this.
I can open python cursor workspace & throw a prompt into codex with just caps+spacebar. caps+e is go workspace etc. It's great.
17
No complaining. No rushing. And no jealousy.
Great morning, actually did push ups til failure and now onto solbond & gen.new
I am very very excited to build this and do it in more public way. I recently changed all my social media handles to something that is essentially the same across everywhere.
I haven't posted much because I didn't know what to post, been deep down in obligations and work to never even get chance to kind of have fun.
Want to change this a bit going forward. Like I will probably share a lot more going forward in this public journal rather than private one as most often what I share there is things like 'Move faster' or the like.
So might as well share that here. Get that little bit of madhouse out there, not that many are reading this journal anyway.
Buy yes. I am also excited to move to a more stable place with work conditions in Cyprus genuinely.
Oh and another thing that makes sharing things here so so fun is that I can open this cursor workspace with caps+k & it just opens it. And I start writing into it.
This workspace essentially opens all the pages from nikiv.dev. but also wiki.nikiv.dev that I am rebuilding from scratch and i.nikiv.dev which is my internal site with its own pages.
As I write this, I will actually going to do a thing I started doing earlier but didin't finish and mainly hotkey in cursor that when pressed will auto commit & push a diff with AI annotated commit.
Need to be faster. A lot faster.
Pushing only 3 projects now, literally just 3 but they all compliment each other:
1F is caps + :. Gen is caps + n. SolBond is caps + o.
Fast switches. Everything else I do is to literally push those projects forward as fast I can.
Oh and learn-anything.xyz rebuild but Aslam is doing things there. Absolutely legendary dev.
18
Want to wipe everything and start afresh with this public journal. Lots of history but lots of baggage too that I don't want to get attached to.
New day though. Let's go.
Updated my site a bit. It's nice to cut some useless stuff. There is still some useless complaining in this journal but going to keep it, fuck it.
Would be interesting to read in some future where things are more stable and appreciate the calmness of life without all the worries and stress. If that can ever be reached.
Right, Right, Right is genuinely a top tier song. Together with Spells. Nils is genuinely insane.
Absolutely love software. I legit have caps+e that opens my go cursor workspace and I can write prompt to and it will 1 shot it into my cli, I can then exec.
Just insane. Okay, back to gen.new ..
19
First day where I can do n+space and instead of opening my private journal in Reflect I open this.
I wonder how hard it would be to make a linter that would auto fix grammatic mistakes on md file save especially casing as I don't want to press shift or hold : in my case.
Walked today. I don't have money for food so it was nice to just sit there for a bit and think before heading home for work. There is a slight sobering feeling you get when you are hungry. Keeps you alert.
I let go from feeling sad about feeling that I am 30 years old and can't afford food since this month as I just realized that failures are simply inevitable. Like legit, you can fail 1000 consecutive times with 0 wins and that is literally ok.
It's just life. Only thing is that you have to learn from each of the failures and I think I learned some lessons.
In other news, I have a script now that given a github repo, will create a private fork of it in ~/forks-i/.. where each push will go to my own fork but I can still upstream changes from the original repo.
I plan to abuse this heavily to modify and work with various repos. Any change that is actually useful, I'll of course upstream it to the original repo.
One other thing I've learned from the struggles with finances is compassion. Real compassion. I genuinely appreciate the level of effort it takes to actually just get by on this planet.
I am someone who is not that great with computers to be able to sustain a life so it's always fascinating to see people online that manage to do it. I still like tinkering and things though. Just for the fun of it.
Okay I am genuinely ready to nuke this entire journal and start anew. I might actually do that. From maybe 2026. This year was too tough and uninteresting to read about from outside. Not even sure why I shared all those things.
I should genuinely lock in fully, non stop write code every second until something good comes out on the other end. And that is it. Everything else is noise and distraction. Complaining, that's for sure.
Just coding and doing my habits. ✨
I mean, look at this. Just insane how unfair being born outside of US is. Working & doing things on hard mode.
Like these are insane numbers. I would be happy with a 50$ investment for either gen.new or 1focus or solbond. 500$ for 5% of all those companies would get me going for a bit.
Anyway, there is not much to invest in yet. Have to put in the work to get stuff working first.
Okay yea it's decided, I will index these look backs into archive alongside all the look backs from the past too. They are too depressive and genuinely useless. I mean who wants to read about this stuff.
The offer of 500$ for 5% of all companies still stands though if anyone reading this is interested in giving at least some money for foods and drinks to get this story going bit more.
But yes I give myself till January of 2026 to doom a bit more as I work through some things out alone. in 2026 I am no longer going to be messing about. 0 room for non signal piece of writing.
Everything I write or create has to create value. And this value must be captured. Because right now I capture literally 0$ worth of value. Ok actually that's not true, its 7$ worth as per my kind GitHub sponsors.
7$ monthly for approximately last 12 months, which totals to 84$ for year's earnings. It's not too bad as that can always be 0$ but it can be better.
Okay back to work. Will try to get earnings to at least 30$ monthly by end of the year. I just need a product I can sell for 30$ or find 30 customers for some product worth 1$, excluding stripe fees too ofc.
Maybe doable. Will see.